hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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