i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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