If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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