So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
