i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
