i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
