found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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