Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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