So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
