Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
