Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize