yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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