i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
