she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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