My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
