I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
