and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
