You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
