I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
