Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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