Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm just crazy horny about you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
A bitchslap is in order.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
