I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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