Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
