WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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