he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
