He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
