I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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