using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
