I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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