How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize