You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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