they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
