There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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