garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
