I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
