he shaved USA in his pubs
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
