she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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