During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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