I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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