I'm really into asian looking animals
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
