need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
