I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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