She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
