I looked at my own cervix.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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