apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
