You really coming over, don't trick.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just high enough for therapy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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