seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
