Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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