I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
