I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
