I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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