from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
