she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
