we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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