that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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