my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm having to shit out rocks
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