Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
