weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize