This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
