Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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