I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
