when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize